PRICELESS WORDS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "
 

There are truly some things that both money and MasterCard  can't buy

---

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Read for Fun.........

1

Long back,
a person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
fogot laughter were called
"Saints"

But now they are called..

"IT professionals"




2
An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:

" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has fallen off"




3.
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,
One loves too much,

and

The other loves too many,



4.
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!




5.

Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!



6.

What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new

and

Just few hours left for your exams..!



7.

Jus4Fun
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!



8.
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"

Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!




9
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an opening for you..!

Applicant: What is it?

Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"



10
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employees...

..... Leave them to us

 

 

---

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A quick laugh for 5 mins

 

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.

*******

Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!

*******
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will  only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

*******

Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

*******

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.

The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.

---

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God is in joking mood

A man was praying to god.

He said, "God?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead", God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "A million years to me is only a second."

The man wondered.

Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"

And God cheerfully said,

"Sure!....... just a second."

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2541070180309906287

---

   

Dr. M. Devendra Kumar, B.H.M.S.,MD (Homeo).
Homoeopathic Physician,
D #: 20-700/64,
Vishwabrahmana Colony,
Chilakalapudi,
Machilipatnam-521 002. A.P,
India.
mob:
919920017320,(Mumbai) 

919440369772 (Andra)

__________________________________________________
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CANCER PREVENTION UPDATE ...................

CANCER PREVENTION UPDATE

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY (TRY THE KEY WORD) AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNHOPKINS HOSPITAL (IN USA ) IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY .

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size..
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime..
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.

CANCER CELLS FEED ON :

a. Sugar , is a cancer-feeder.

By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like Nutra-sweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt. ( THE WEST MADE US 2 CHANGE FROM SEA 2 WHITE IODISED SALT )

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus ..
By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened Soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment .
A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.


d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment . About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day.. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine .

Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties . Water- best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
13.. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Florssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor..

Anger, un-forgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment . Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

PLEASE READ ON

1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its news letters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer.
Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital was on a TV program to explain this health hazard.

He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.

Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food.
You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.

Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.

To strengthen your immune system and slowing down your ageing process, take:-

2 spoons of Isobgol with water, at night. One tablet each (in the morning and at night) of “Immune-ace, Calcium with magnesium (like Osteocare / Calcimax) and Joint-ace, without fail. This will help your body. The medicine for the mind is to do MEDITATION for 5-10 Minutes twice a day.



This is an article that should be sent to all in your life,

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IT Companies full names................

 

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS : Infinitely  Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM: Sad and Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM: Puzzled and Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee during Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash first and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting

---

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Good Morning... Good One.....

A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

 

Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"

 

So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

 

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer...... ........ ......... $ 2.00

Knowing where to tap......... ........ ........ $ 9,998.00

 

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference!

---

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joke.........

1)
There was this guy who went golfing every Saturday and Sunday. It didn't matter what kind of weather it was, he was hooked on a round of golf on his days off.

One Saturday he left the house early and headed for the golf course, but it was so bitter cold that he decided he wouldn't golf that day and went back home.

His wife was still in bed when he got there, so he took off his clothes and snuggled up to his wife's backside and said, "Terrible weather out there."

She replied, "Yeah, and can you believe my stupid husband went golfing."

 

2)
This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.

The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

---

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Heart Specialist.........................

A chat with Dr.Devi Shetty, Narayana Hrudayalaya
(Heart Specialist) Bangalore was arranged by WIPRO for its employees .

The transcript of the chat is given below. Useful for everyone.


Qn: What are the thumb rules for a layman to take care of his heart?

Ans:
1. Diet - Less of carbohydrate, more of protein, less oil
2. Exercise - Half an hour's walk, at least five days a week; avoid lifts and avoid sitting for a longtime
3. Quit smoking
4. Control weight
5. Control blood pressure and sugar

Qn: Is eating non-veg food (fish) good for the heart?

Ans: No

Qn: It's still a grave shock to hear that some apparently healthy person  
gets a cardiac arrest. How do we understand it in perspective?  

Ans: This is called silent attack; that is why we recommend everyone past the age of 30 to undergo routine health checkups.

Qn: Are heart diseases hereditary?  

Ans: Yes  

Qn: What are the ways in which the heart is stressed? What practices do you suggest to de-stress?

Ans: Change your attitude towards life. Do not look for perfection in everything in life.

Qn: Is walking better than jogging or is more intensive exercise required to keep a healthy heart?

Ans: Walking is better than jogging since jogging leads to early fatigue and injury to joints  

Qn: You have done so much for the poor and needy. What has inspired you to do so?

Ans: Mother Theresa , who was my patient

Qn: Can people with low blood pressure suffer heart diseases?

Ans: Extremely rare

Qn: Does cholesterol accumulates right from an early age
(I'm currently only 22) or do you have to worry about it only after you are above 30 years of age?

Ans: Cholesterol accumulates from childhood.

Qn: How do irregular eating habits affect the heart ?

Ans: You tend to eat junk food when the habits are irregular and your body's enzyme release for digestion gets confused.

Qn: How can I control cholesterol content without using medicines?

Ans: Control diet, walk and eat walnut.

Qn: Can yoga prevent heart ailments?

Ans: Yoga helps.

Qn: Which is the best and worst food for the heart?  

Ans: Fruits and vegetables are the best and the worst is oil.

Qn: Which oil is better - groundnut, sunflower, olive?

Ans: All oils are bad .

Qn: What is the routine checkup one should go through? Is there any specific test?  

Ans: Routine blood test to ensure sugar, cholesterol is ok. Check BP, Treadmill test after an echo.

Qn: What are the first aid steps to be taken on a heart attack?

Ans: Help the person into a sleeping position , place an aspirin tablet under the tongue with a sorbitrate tablet if available, and rush him to a coronary care unit since the maximum casualty takes place within the first hour.

Qn: How do you differentiate between pain caused by a heart attack and that caused due to gastric trouble?

Ans: Extremely difficult without ECG.

Qn: What is the main cause of a steep increase in heart problems amongst youngsters? I see people of about 30-40 yrs of age having heart attacks and serious heart problems.

Ans: Increased awareness has increased incidents. Also, s edentary lifestyles, smoking, junk food, lack of exercise in a country where people are genetically three times more vulnerable for heart attacks than Europeans and Americans.

Qn: Is it possible for a person to have BP outside the normal range of 120/80 and yet be perfectly healthy?

Ans: Yes.

Qn: Marriages within close relatives can lead to heart problems for the child. Is it true?

Ans : Yes, co-sanguinity leads to congenital abnormalities and you may not have a software engineer as a child

Qn: Many of us have an irregular daily routine and many a times we have to stay late nights in office. Does this affect our heart ? What precautions would you recommend?

Ans : When you are young, nature protects you against all these irregularities. However, as you grow older, respect the biological clock.

Qn: Will taking anti-hypertensive drugs cause some other complications (short / long term)?

Ans : Yes, most drugs have some side effects. However, modern anti-hypertensive drugs are extremely safe.

Qn: Will consuming more coffee/tea lead to heart attacks?

Ans : No.

Qn: Are asthma patients more prone to heart disease?

Ans : No.

Qn: How would you define junk food?

Ans : Fried food like Kentucky , McDonalds , samosas, and even masala dosas.

Qn: You mentioned that Indians are three times more vulnerable. What is the reason for this, as Europeans and Americans also eat a lot of junk food?

Ans: Every race is vulnerable to some disease and unfortunately, Indians are vulnerable for the most expensive disease.

Qn: Does consuming bananas help reduce hypertension?

Ans : No.

Qn: Can a person help himself during a heart attack (Because we see a lot of forwarded emails on this)?

Ans : Yes. Lie down comfortably and put an aspirin tablet of any description under the tongue and ask someone to take you to the nearest coronary care unit without any delay and do not wait for the ambulance since most of the time, the ambulance does not turn up.

Qn: Do, in any way, low white blood cells and low hemoglobin count lead to heart problems?

Ans : No. But it is ideal to have normal hemoglobin level to increase your exercise capacity.

Qn: Sometimes, due to the hectic schedule we are not able to exercise. So, does walking while doing daily chores at home or climbing the stairs in the house, work as a substitute for exercise?  

Ans : Certainly. Avoid sitting continuously for more than half an hour and even the act of getting out of the chair and going to another chair and sitting helps a lot.

Qn: Is there a relation between heart problems and blood sugar?

Ans: Yes. A strong relationship since diabetics are more vulnerable to heart attacks than non-diabetics.

Qn: What are the things one needs to take care of after a heart operation?

Ans : Diet, exercise, drugs on time , Control cholesterol, BP, weight.

Qn: Are people working on night shifts more vulnerable to heart disease when compared to day shift workers?  

Ans : No.

Qn: What are the modern anti-hypertensive drugs?  

Ans : There are hundreds of drugs and your doctor will chose the right combination for your problem, but my suggestion is to avoid the drugs and go for natural ways of controlling blood pressure by walk, diet to
reduce weight and changing attitudes towards lifestyles.

Qn: Does dispirin or similar headache pills increase the risk of heart attacks?

Ans : No.

Qn: Why is the rate of heart attacks more in men than in women?

Ans : Nature protects women till the age of 45.

Qn: How can one keep the heart in a good condition?

Ans : Eat a healthy diet, avoid junk food, exercise everyday, do not smoke and, go for health checkup s if you are past the age of 30 ( once in six months recommended) ....

 Send it to all your friends....... They might be benefitted……

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2541070180309906287

---

   

Dr. M. Devendra Kumar, B.H.M.S.,MD (Homeo).
Homoeopathic Physician,
D #: 20-700/64,
Vishwabrahmana Colony,
Chilakalapudi,
Machilipatnam-521 002. A.P,
India.
mob:
919920017320,(Mumbai) 

919440369772 (Andra)

---

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If you ever get lost in India..............

If you ever get lost in India and want to find out where you are, this
is the best way of doing just that.

 

scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,
then a fourth and
they start arguing about who s right - you are in Kolkata .

 

scenario 2

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along,
sees them and walks on – that ' s Mumbai.

 

scenario 3
two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along &
tries to make
peace. the first two get together & beat him up - that's Delhi .


scenario 4
two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy
comes along and
quietly opens a chai stall - that s Ahmadabad .

 

scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. he writes
a software program to solve the issue but the fight does not stop
because of a bug in the program. that s Bangalore .

 

scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch. a guy
comes along and quietly says "anna, dont fight for all this nonsense".
peace comes in - thats Chennai.

 

scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. both of them take time out and
call their friends on mobile. now 50 guys are fighting. you are in Hyderabad

 

scenario 8
Two guys are fighting, third guys comes try to stop them
and get involved and call others too to stop,
finally stop them,you r in Rajasthan

 

scenario 9
two guys are fighting. a crowd gathers to watch.
someone calls police.
the police come and lathi charge all the people crowded there. someone
throws stones at the police. the police throw stones back at the
crowd. some people are arrested. damages to the shops nearby. next
day, harthal and holiday declared by government ..You are very much in
thiruvananthapuram , the city of Kerala ...

---

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