Kids Are Quick

Kids Are Quick ____________ _________ _________ ______ TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North Am erica .. MARIA:      Here it is. TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS:        Maria. ____________ _________ _________ ______ TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables. ____________ _________ _________ _________ ___ TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L' TEACHER:  No, that's wrong GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ____________ _________ _________ __ ____________ TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. TEACHER:  What are you talking about? DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.. ____________ _________ _________ ____ TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE:     Me! ____________ _________ _________ _________ ___ TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN:      Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ____________ _________ _________ _________ TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE:          I is.. TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE:          All right.....  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'     ____________ __ ____________ _______ TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.   ____________ _________ _________ ________   TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON:       No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ____________ _________ _________   TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE :      No, sir.  It's the same dog. ____________ _________ _________ _____ TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD:       A teacher ________ ____________ _________ _____ PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

American on famous churches !!!!!!!!!!!

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China . On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he Noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.. Next stop was in Japan . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and He asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 He Could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American. He then traveled to Pakistan , Srilanka , Russia , Germany and France . In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 Per call" sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone. He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there Was the same golden telephone, but this s time the sign under it read "One Rupee per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, But in rest of the world price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?" Readers, it is your turn........ Think ....before you scroll down... ........... ......... ........... ......... ........ ......... .......... ......... . ........... ......... .......... ......... ..... ............. ............. ......... ......... ........ ...... ............ .......... ............. ......... ........ ...... ........... ............. ........... .......... ........ ...... ........... ........... ........... ............ ........ ...... ............ ......... ........... ............ .......... ...... ........... ......... ......... ......... .......... ...... ........... .......... .......... ......... ........ ....... ........... ......... .......... .......... .......... ........ ........... ......... .......... ........... ........ ....... ............. ......... ......... .......... ......... ...... .............. .......... .......... .......... ......... ...... ............ ............ .......... .......... ........ ....... The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call ". This is the only heaven on the Earth. KEEP SMILING

REAL FRIEND TEST!

This  is GOOD...I expect it back too! I especially  like the last sentence!!!!!! A simple  friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A  real friend opens your refrigerator and helps  himself and doesn't feel even the least bit  weird shutting your 'Coke drawer' with her  foot! A  simple friend has never seen you cry. A real  friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..   A  simple friend doesn't know your parents' first   names. A real friend has their phone  numbers in his address book.   A  simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your   party. A real friend comes early to help  you cook and stays late to help you clean.   A  simple friend hates it when you call after   they've gone to bed. A real friend asks  you why you took so long to call.   A  simple friend seeks to talk with you about your   problems. A real friend seeks to help  you with your problems. A simple  friend wonders about your romantic history.   A real friend could blackmail you with it!   A  simple friend thinks the friendship is over when   you have an argument. A real friend  calls you after you had a fight.   A  simple friend expects you to always be there for  them. A real friend expects to always be  there for you! A  simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.   A real friend passes it on and sends it back  to you! Pass  this on to anyone you care about......if you   get it back you have no beginning, no end...   It keeps us together, like our Circle of  Friends. Today I pass this on to you. Pass  it on to someone who is a friend to you..   INSTANTLY  WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER, YOU'RE   REQUESTED TO SEND IT TO AT LEAST 10  PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO  YOU. When  you are down to nothing ... God is up to  something. 'Never frown, even when you are sad,   because you never know who is falling in  love with your smile.

Physicians only - please help my mother

Dear sir, > >  My mother (age 70 years) has been diagnosed of Motor Neuron Disease- ALS, at BHU Varanasi. She is on Allopathic medication but doctors have already said that there is no cure for this. > >  I got this e mail id through  blogs on homeopathy.   My uncle is a homeopathic practitioner and he has advised for Lathyrus -30 then 200 and Ginseng-Q & Acid Phos-Q. and Gingko Biloba-Q.   Kindly advice whether there is any hope of treating this disease in Homeopathy. Can I expect some favourable results with above homeopathic medicines. Thanking you,   Shyam ji > > s10-@hotmail.com

Great India.....

An olympic shooter wins Gold (Only a game) & govt gives him 3Cr + awards.   Another shooter dies, fighting with terrorists (saving our country & our lives) & Govt pays his family 5 Lacs.   Truly Great India ** (plz fwd to al Indians, so dat it somehow reaches the President , PM CMs, IAS & all concerned) ( forw by somebody)

A Nice Lesson..!

Once a boy went to a shop with his mother. The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets... But the child didnt take. The shop keeper was surprised.. such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets.... Now the mother also heard that and said.. take the sweets dear.. Yet he didnt take... The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... he himself took the sweets and gave to the child. The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets. While returning home the Mother asked the child... Why didnt you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?.. Can you guess the response: Child replies... Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets i can only take few.. but now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... how many more sweets i got! Moral: When we take we may get little but when God gives... HE gives us more beyond our expectations. ... more than what we can hold..!! Keep Smiling..!

Shilpi(sculptor) & A gentleman

A gentleman once visited a temple under construction where he saw a Shilpi(sculptor) making an idol of God. Suddenly the gentleman noticed a similar idol lying nearby.

Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the Shilpi without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked."There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the Shilpi, still busy with his work..

"Where are you going to install the idol?" The Shilpi replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know or notice that there is a scratch on the nose of the idol?" the gentleman asked.

The Shilpi stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I know it and God knows it!"

The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not.
"Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside.

Excel at a task today - not necessarily for someone else to notice but for our own satisfaction.


Responsibility for all our actions.
Respect for self and for others