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Sunday, March 23, 2008
Some good jokes...........................
Teacher teaching algebra to student
A=B=C
it means A=C
sir asked 2 giv exampl 4 it
student:sir i luv u, u luv ur daughter,it means i luv ur daughter
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it. .......
A rose is always a rose whether its in a golden pot or in the ground. Same way u r always my friend whether u r in central jail or mental hospital...
TEACHER: u call ur mother as MUM. What will u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sis? Sardar:so simple,i'll call them MINIMUM & MAXIMUM
How to kill a mosquito: Catch it alive,Tie its legs then make gudgudi in its stomach and when it laughs,Catch its mouth & pour a spoon of poisson .....
Wife 2 Husband,'See That's My First Boy-Friend At The Bar, He Is Drinking Since I Left Him 10 Years Ago !' Husband,"Nonsense ! No One Can Celebrate That Long !.
A Son at college wanted more money.
He sent a telegram to his father
"NO MONEY.
NO FUN.
UR SON."
The father replied:
"HOW SAD,
TOO BAD,
UR DAD!!
Frog goes 2 astrologer 2 know its future.
Ast:u'll meet a young girl who wants 2 no evrythg abt u.
Frg:Grt! wen & whr?
Ast:Nxt semster in biology lab.
Boy:I'll climb d tallest mount,swim d deepest ocean,walk on hot coal barefoot,jus 4u..!
Girl:So sweet! Can u come 2meet me ?
Boy:Not now,its raining..
Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho..
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
Population slogan in Bihar : Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke
Baad Jitne Bhi Hon,
Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do
A=B=C
it means A=C
sir asked 2 giv exampl 4 it
student:sir i luv u, u luv ur daughter,it means i luv ur daughter
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it. .......
A rose is always a rose whether its in a golden pot or in the ground. Same way u r always my friend whether u r in central jail or mental hospital...
TEACHER: u call ur mother as MUM. What will u call ur mother's younger sister & elder sis? Sardar:so simple,i'll call them MINIMUM & MAXIMUM
How to kill a mosquito: Catch it alive,Tie its legs then make gudgudi in its stomach and when it laughs,Catch its mouth & pour a spoon of poisson .....
Wife 2 Husband,'See That's My First Boy-Friend At The Bar, He Is Drinking Since I Left Him 10 Years Ago !' Husband,"Nonsense ! No One Can Celebrate That Long !.
A Son at college wanted more money.
He sent a telegram to his father
"NO MONEY.
NO FUN.
UR SON."
The father replied:
"HOW SAD,
TOO BAD,
UR DAD!!
Frog goes 2 astrologer 2 know its future.
Ast:u'll meet a young girl who wants 2 no evrythg abt u.
Frg:Grt! wen & whr?
Ast:Nxt semster in biology lab.
Boy:I'll climb d tallest mount,swim d deepest ocean,walk on hot coal barefoot,jus 4u..!
Girl:So sweet! Can u come 2meet me ?
Boy:Not now,its raining..
Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho..
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
Population slogan in Bihar : Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke
Baad Jitne Bhi Hon,
Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do
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Subject: Alert from the 'Director of Medical & Research Div,Chennai'
FROM
Arvind Khamitkar , I.A.S,
Director of Medical & Research Div,Chennai
Dear Friends and Public,
A few weeks ago, in a movie theatre, a person felt something poking from her seat.When she got up to see what it was, she found a needle sticking out of the seat with a note attached saying 'You have just been infected by HIV'. The Disease Control Center (in Paris ) reports many similar events in many other cities recently. All tested needles were HIV Positive.
The Center also reports that needles have been found in cash dispensers at public banking machines.We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected with vigilance and caution before use. A careful visual inspection should be enough. In addition, they ask that each of you pass this message along to all members of your family and your friends of the potential danger.
Recently, one doctor has narrated a somewhat similar instance that hppened to one of his patients at the Priya Cinema in Delhi . A young girl, engaged and about to be married in a couple of months, was pricked while the movie was going on. The tag with the needle had the message welcome to the World of HIV family'. Though the doctors told her family that it takes about 6 months before the virus grows strong enough to start damaging the system and a healthy victim could survive about 5-6 years, the girl died in 4 months, perhaps more because of the 'Shock thought'.
We all have to be careful at public places, rest God help! Just think about saving a life by forwarding this message. Please, take a few seconds of your time to pass along.
With Regards, Arvind Khamitkar ,
I.A.S, Director of Medical & Research Div, Chennai.
Rather than forwarding irrelevant mails, kindly pass this to every one. Probably ur mail can help some save his/her life .
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
Arvind Khamitkar , I.A.S,
Director of Medical & Research Div,Chennai
Dear Friends and Public,
A few weeks ago, in a movie theatre, a person felt something poking from her seat.When she got up to see what it was, she found a needle sticking out of the seat with a note attached saying 'You have just been infected by HIV'. The Disease Control Center (in Paris ) reports many similar events in many other cities recently. All tested needles were HIV Positive.
The Center also reports that needles have been found in cash dispensers at public banking machines.We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced with this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected with vigilance and caution before use. A careful visual inspection should be enough. In addition, they ask that each of you pass this message along to all members of your family and your friends of the potential danger.
Recently, one doctor has narrated a somewhat similar instance that hppened to one of his patients at the Priya Cinema in Delhi . A young girl, engaged and about to be married in a couple of months, was pricked while the movie was going on. The tag with the needle had the message welcome to the World of HIV family'. Though the doctors told her family that it takes about 6 months before the virus grows strong enough to start damaging the system and a healthy victim could survive about 5-6 years, the girl died in 4 months, perhaps more because of the 'Shock thought'.
We all have to be careful at public places, rest God help! Just think about saving a life by forwarding this message. Please, take a few seconds of your time to pass along.
With Regards, Arvind Khamitkar ,
I.A.S, Director of Medical & Research Div, Chennai.
Rather than forwarding irrelevant mails, kindly pass this to every one. Probably ur mail can help some save his/her life .
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF MY CLASSMATE.......................
My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment.
She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.
There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.
I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me?
I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of my classmates said, 'EEEE, your mom only has one eye!'
I wanted to bury myself.
I also wanted my mom to just disappear.
I confronted her that day and said, ' If you're only goanna make
me a
laughing stock, why don't you just die?'
My mom did not respond...
I didn't even stop to th in k for a second about what I had said, because
I was full of anger.
I was oblivious to her feel in gs.
I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.
So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.
Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, Then one day, my
mother came to visit me.
She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren.
When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.
I screamed at her, 'How dare you come to my house and scare my children!'
GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!'
And to this, my mother quietly answered, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,'
and she disappeared out of sight..
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.
So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.
After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.
My neighbors said that she died.
I did not shed a single tear.
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.
'My dearest son,
I think of you all the time.. I'm sorry that I came to your house and
scared your children.
I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.
You see.......when you were very little, you got in to an accident, and
lost your eye.
As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.
So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.
With all my love to you,
Your mother.
Send this to at least 5 people in the next 5 minutes to show you love your mother.
If you don't then it shows you have no heart
Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day
will be their last, or your own.
Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones
because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure. And closure usually brings peace...please love your mother
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Sunday, March 16, 2008
Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery ???????????????
Section 49-O --- Look, wat our constitution says
Subject: Section 49-O of the Constitution -- Must read by a Responsible Indian
Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the
1969 act, in section "49-O" that a person can go to the polling
booth, confirm his identity, get his finger marked and convey the
presiding election officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone!
Yes such a feature is available, but obviously these seemingly
notorious leaders have never disclosed it. This is called "49-O".
Why should you go and say "I VOTE NOBODY"... because, in a ward, if
a candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has
received "49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling will be
cancelled and will have to be re-polled. Not only that, but the
candidature of the contestants will be removed and they cannot
contest the re-polling, since people had already expressed their
decision on them. This would bring fear into parties and hence look
for genuine candidates for their parties for election. This would
change the way, of our whole political system... it is seemingly
surprising why the election commission has not revealed such a
feature to the public....
Please spread this news to as many as you know... Seems to be a
wonderful weapon against corrupt parties in India... show your
power, expressing your desire not to vote for anybody, is even more
powerful than voting... so don't miss your chance. So either vote,
or vote not to vote (vote 49-O) and pass this info on...
"Please forward this mail to as many as possible, so that we, the
people of India , can really use this power to save our nation". Use
your VOTING RIGHT FOR A BETTER INDIA.
Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the
1969 act, in section "49-O" that a person can go to the polling
booth, confirm his identity, get his finger marked and convey the
presiding election officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone!
Yes such a feature is available, but obviously these seemingly
notorious leaders have never disclosed it. This is called "49-O".
Why should you go and say "I VOTE NOBODY"... because, in a ward, if
a candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has
received "49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling will be
cancelled and will have to be re-polled. Not only that, but the
candidature of the contestants will be removed and they cannot
contest the re-polling, since people had already expressed their
decision on them. This would bring fear into parties and hence look
for genuine candidates for their parties for election. This would
change the way, of our whole political system... it is seemingly
surprising why the election commission has not revealed such a
feature to the public....
Please spread this news to as many as you know... Seems to be a
wonderful weapon against corrupt parties in India... show your
power, expressing your desire not to vote for anybody, is even more
powerful than voting... so don't miss your chance. So either vote,
or vote not to vote (vote 49-O) and pass this info on...
"Please forward this mail to as many as possible, so that we, the
people of India , can really use this power to save our nation". Use
your VOTING RIGHT FOR A BETTER INDIA.
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HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE.............
EVERYONE MUST KNOW THIS
Let's say it's 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of
course), after an unusually hard day on the job.
You're really tired, upset and frustrated.
Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your
chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up
into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the
hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't
know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have
been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the
course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart
attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating
improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only
about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However, these victims can help themselves by coughing
repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should
be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep
and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep
inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two
seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until
the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing
movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood
circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also
helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart
attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many
other people as possible about this. It could save
their lives!!
A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail
sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we'll save at
least one life.
BE A FRIEND AND PLEASE SEND
THIS ARTICLE TO AS MANY FRIENDS ! AS POSSIBLE ....
Thanking You
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
Let's say it's 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of
course), after an unusually hard day on the job.
You're really tired, upset and frustrated.
Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your
chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up
into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the
hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't
know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have
been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the
course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart
attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating
improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only
about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.
However, these victims can help themselves by coughing
repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should
be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep
and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep
inside the chest.
A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two
seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until
the heart is felt to be beating normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing
movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood
circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also
helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart
attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many
other people as possible about this. It could save
their lives!!
A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail
sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we'll save at
least one life.
BE A FRIEND AND PLEASE SEND
THIS ARTICLE TO AS MANY FRIENDS ! AS POSSIBLE ....
Thanking You
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
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