A Starter Joke

A Sindhi, after parking his car, opens the door and a car comes by and tears the door off.   He looks at his friend sitting next to him and exclaims, "My Mercedes! ... My mercedes! .... My mercedes!"   His friend looks at him and says, "You Sindhi's are all alike. All you're worried about is material things.   You never even  noticed that your arm is gone!"   To which the Sindhi cries, "My Rollex! ... My Rollex! ... My Rollex!!"

Homeopathic Research work

"which gives information on Homeopathic Research, something new in the history of Homeopathy, provokes thought in an enthusiastic mind. This research work gives a new thought on selection of Homeopathic medicine to a patient and helpful in the identification of Homeopathic medicine that has given to a person without label.which can give birth to modern Homeopathic Materia Medica and Repertory."     Please have a look at this blog. to have more information.   http://homeopathynotaplacebothepathy.blogspot.com/

Hosband Shopping @ Husband mart

Husband Shopping @ Husband Mart A store that sells husbands has just opened, where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.           There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.           The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.           The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's fur! there up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.           "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.           "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads:  Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.           Thank you for shopping at Husband Mart and have a nice day 4. Today is EARTH DAY Since the first Earth Day, April 22, 1970, Earth Day has been an annual event for people around the world to celebrate the earth and renew our commitment to building a safer, healthier and cleaner world for all of us.

Engineering Vs Management

Engineering Vs Management  A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.  She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.  She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me?  I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.' The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the  ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.' 'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist. 'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?' 'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost.  Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all.   If anything you've delayed my trip even more.' The man below responded, 'You must be in management.'  'I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?' 'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going.  You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within.  You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems.'

Kids Are Quick ............

Kids Are Quick ____________________________________     TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA:       Here it is. TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS:        Maria. ____________________________________   TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER:  No, that's wrong GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ____________________________________________ TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. TEACHER:  What are you talking about? DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________   TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE:     Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN:        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________   TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE:          I is.. TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE:          All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'     _________________________________ TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.   ______________________________________     TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________     TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE :       No, sir.  It's the same dog. ___________________________________ TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD:       A teacher   ___________________________________    PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!     "This email message is intended for the named recipient only. It may be privileged and/or confidential. If you are not the intended named recipient of this email then you should not copy it or use it for any purpose, nor disclose its contents to any other person which is strictly prohibited and unlawful."       Kids Are Quick ____________________________________     TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA:       Here it is. TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS:        Maria. ____________________________________   TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER:  No, that's wrong GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ____________________________________________ TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD:     H I J K L M N O. TEACHER:  What are you talking about? DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________   TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE:     Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER:  G len, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN:        Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________   TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE:          I is.. TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE:          All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'     _________________________________ TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.   ______________________________________     TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________     TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE :       No, sir.  It's the same dog. ___________________________________ TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD:       A teacher   ___________________________________    PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

Brilliant Sardar............

Brilliant Sardar --------------------- One Sardar read a board "likhney wala briliant......parhney wala idiot.." Sardar becomes engry, he rub the board and writes, " parhney wala briliant, likhney wala idiot...."     Blood Group -------------------- Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saal sey mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....   WATCH & WIFE ------------------------- What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ......... Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai...... Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai     Parking Fine ------------------- Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine" He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"     Sardarji Buying a TV -------------------------------- Sardar ji is buying a TV "Do you have color TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a green one, please."   Sardarji Travelling ---------------------------- A Sardarji is travelling for the first time in a plane, headed for Bombay. While the plane is landing, he starts shouting "Bombay, Bombay!". The air hostess says, "Be silent". Sardaji says, "OK", and starts shouting "ombay, ombay".   Meaning of SMS ------------------------ Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ? Sardar angrily said, i know - it means.... S - Sardaron ke M - Mazak udane ki S - Service

EFFORT....WHERE TO ?

HI,  Nice one                                   A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.   Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.   Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!   A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.   'What?!' the owners exclaimed. 'He hardly did anything!'   So they wrote the old man a note saying, 'Please send us an itemized bill.'   The man sent a bill that read:   Tapping with a hammer...... ......... ........ $ 2.00 Knowing where to tap........... ......... ...... $ 9, 998.00     Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference! regards,